Who am I?

Am I a jerk? A whiner? A drifter? Too many times I'm alone, full of questions. Everyone goes through a period of self-discovery at some point in their lives. According to my psychology textbook, this question is raised at Stage Five: Identity vs. Role Confusion. Yay! Progress. Anyway, in a world without brutal honesty, people are too kind tell you the truth of what they think of you. What are your faults? How can you know when you're bothering somebody? Today in lunch, for example, Josh, Killian, Brian, James and I were busy talking about Halo2, and Sarah got up and left. Immediately, Josh comments on how he feels bad she left because we were talking about Halo and she felt left out, b/c that's all we talk about. I mean, we all agreed it's understandable when all of us are together that we're going to talk about halo. Sarah used to play all the time, too, just like us, until she got tons of work. Well, I didn't think she left because of us. She said, "it's not because of you guys," as she was leaving when Josh inquired. I thought something else was on her mind, and said as much. Killian got up and talked to her for ten minutes and eventually they returned, and she admitted, to James' inquiry, that she left because we were talking about halo. So...yeah. I was shocked that I was so wrong about somebody. I thought I could pick up on stuff like that, even though I hadn't been paying much attention. And I was wrong because I got mixed messages; she said it wasn't because of us, when it actually was. Girls! Anyway, recently I've been unsure how people in my suite thought about me. I've recently concluded that I'm annoying, at least sometimes. I went into Josh and Brian's room when he was signing on and told Brian that if they were playing, I wanted to play. Then, since I had nothing to do, I went in the living room and played a practice game. Point is, they ended up playing and didn't tell me, even though they knew I was playing: hint 1. Hint 2: they both adjusted their settings so that it says they're offline even when they're not, and they did this since last night, so most likely it was just before I signed on. As in the past, if I said, "oh, you're on...send me an invite," they would either say, "ok" or "actually we were just playing this one game then signing off." The chance that they like me is getting slim after I take these into account. It makes me sad, because I would change my behavior if I knew what it was I was doing. Maybe, I'm just paranoid. The world doesn't revolve around me, I know this, but it does seem like they're taking extra measures to avoid playing with me. One thing I know that bothers them is I state what's on my mind; if something in particular is bothering me, I state it, except for this, because I've already brought it up and they more or less just told me I'm paranoid. It's annoying rooming with these guys because they don't say what's bugging them. Oh yeah, and housing for next semester...Josh and Brian are going w/ a bunch of people besides me and I was never told. So, I'm filled with questions of whether they don't like me, or whether they just prefer other people more and there's no room for me. I have no idea what I'm doing for housing next semester and neither do Nick or Mark. At least they invited me to live w/ them...but since they're in dire need of more people to get a housing situation, that's not saying much. My conclusion is that either I'm unpleasant to live with or I'm paranoid. I thought I was friendly, but this new evidence suggests I'm not. Come to think of it, I have been making fun of people more lately, though in jest, and perhaps people really are offended when I make fun of trivial things like their music choice, desire for sleep, number of recent blog posts, buddy icon, buddy list, and such. Maybe they'll tell me. Maybe not. From all this, what do I do? I can accept it or I can change, right? If I am a jerk, or I have been recently, I apologize. If I've been conceited, or gloomy, or unsocial, or what have you, I apologize. For all that is socially unpreferable, I apologize. I'm out here to be the best person I can be, and the best way to do that is with some help: a little nudge in the right direction. If I follow this guideline, I can only become a better person than what I am. I can't wait to find out who I will become and what traits I will develop. I'm working on socializing and speaking up for mysellf, as a change from my antisocial, closet tendency I have sometimes. I should go out and party with some friendly drunkards, right? Wouldn't that be a step in the right direction? I can't wait for intramural soccer to start up again after break! That, at least, should get me doing something with new people. I got talking with James after Economics class at 7. I was waiting with Maggie to go to the gym, who was waiting for Mari (who has a sweet hat) and Brian (who goes to...the gym??), when he came through the door in a vein attempt to sign the attendance sheet for the class he just skipped, except it let out early. He's a very interesting person: funny, friendly, hyper and talkative as hell. He kinda reminds me of Fricano in that respect, though I didn't come to that realization until today. He was telling me about Basic Training, and some fight stories he had, and some terrible stories I wish I'd never heard. I was intrigued partly because what he said was funny and interesting, and partly because I was wondering what it would be like if I joined that world. What better way to get some stories out of your life while avoiding real life, right? I mean, I'll certainly be more mature and wiser in a couple years (I'd be 20!), like he is, so maybe basic training wouldn't be all that bad. I didn't say this, but I definitely changed my mind after hearing what he said about it. Anyways, talking to him is always a fun time. I'm always glad when I find new fun friends to hang out with; they're out there, but it's tough to find them and start talking w/ them. I mean, in a given classroom, there's probably at least one other person you find friendly and interesting, but will never end up being friends with because they sit on the other side of the classroom, or are part of a different social group. Whatever. Such is life. I conclude writing this, not because I'm done thinking of things to say, but because I should socialize or go to sleep. I wonder if I'm supposed to post things this open on a blog? I have no qualms writing about it, and perhaps somebody reading this can relate to it. Maybe it can help somebody, or comfort somebody. It was good writing it down as it flowed. At least this is the one blog entry I'm absolutely sure nobody will comment on. It seems, the more personal something is, the less inclined people are to respond to it. Maybe they feel like they shouldn't be reading it. Whatever. Do as you will, and thank you for reading. Peace out: friends, acquaintances, strangers, and the void.

Keith Wins Without Trying

So, all I'm saying is that I went to check to see if Keith finally had more visitors than me; he had 593. Then, I went on my site to see the number and I had 592. So, I was the one person that sent him over the edge finally to surpass my traffic. Damn him! Actually, Damn You! If you had been busy refreshing my page 30 times a visit, he would've never caught up. So F U, disloyal, non-obsessive compulsive viewer. Although, in my defense, keith does give himself traffic whenever he sees his own blog, and I don't, so he's actually cheating. That's right--unfair play! I win by default. Nothing else is happening. I'm going to bed. I've cured myself of my addiction to Halo2, since I no longer desire to play that game. The secret was to play stupid, non-fun games, and be unable to quit out, so you're trapped in this horrible game. Or, maybe it was to play so many hours as to wear itself out. Or, maybe I'm just temporarily sick of it. I'll still play if my suitemates or someone else I know is playing, but other than that I'm done. It is the end of myself.
I was supposed to go lifting at 11pm w/ mark, but he left to bowl w/ Nick at 9 and didn't return until now. Pretty much, today was unsignificant and boring. I read myself up on Betrayers of Kamigawa and that set looks pretty powerful and fun. Wizards is also contemplating banning a couple infinity cards to make infinity decks far less dominant, which should make all other decks more playable, thus, more fun for all. My apologies to all unfamiliar with Magic the Gathering, for that game is amazing. Now, as my psychology textbook suggested, I can find out how many hours of sleep I need by going to bed rested and seeing how many hours I sleep until I wake up.

Icy Milk

All I wanted was some cereal and milk, and then I go to pour it and I get chunks of ice in my cereal. Eww. I threw out the first piece, thinking that was the only piece, then I pour more milk and discover that almost the entire remainder in the carton has ice in it. That's gross. Milk is not supposed to be frozen. It also smelled bad, but I sucked it up and ate my cereal anyway. Right now I have a head cold. It's a little better than yesterday or the day before; my ears won't stop popping, but at least I don't have a headache or fever. My muscles still ache from lifting a few days ago. I was extremely tired yesterday as of 1130pm and was going to get to bed, until josh said killian was going to play, so I stuck it out and played some. We ended losing almost ceaselessly, because everyone was sucking, until I went to bed at 1:30 in the AM. I have no plans for today, but I heard Pat is coming over tonight for sarah's birthday. 20 years. I'm so much younger than everybody! I can look forward to 19 in a few months...yay!? Nothing happens at nineteen. It is a complete waste of an age. In fact, nothing happens at 20 either, except you can no longer use the excuse, "because I'm a teenager." But yeah, everyone's at least a year older than me: some two: some, like James, almost four. It's hardly noticeable most of the time, and at least nobody says, "not until you're older" to me, so I don't get crap about it. I talked to my sister yesteray for the first time in a couple months, for like 10 minutes. And my finger is still cut from getting pushed down the metal stairs on the way to dinner a few days ago, by keith. That punk. He couldn't tolerate the fact that I can descend stairs faster than him, so he pushed me. He's lucky that I'm not dead. If I was anyone else, I would have died. It was only due to my supreme skills at sliding down stairs that I lived. Anyways, I had three tests last week, and two of them went quite well, so I don't really have any work to do this weekend. I just wish I'd get healthy again. Oh, intramural soccer signups are now, so I have to decide what team I will be on. And....I think I've told you enough for one sitting. If you disagree, just write me a 3-5 page essay explaining why, and I will consider your point of view. Until then, keep up the coolness.

I Quit

It all started
when I quit;
I said I switched,
but I really quit.
Ambition left
for the good of "fun."
But where is it now?
My demise is apparent
to all who watch and
think, "didn't he used to be
somebody?"
And they reply, "Yeah, I thought so.
I don't know what happened."
I sat in lunch and conversed
about how good I used to be.
But it's hopeless.
I don't even believe it myself.
If I really was that good,
what happened?
A wisp of smoke is all that remains
of my potential of the past.
Will it burn? Again?

Ouchi wouchies

The strangest part of the day was that I woke up really rested after 6 hours of sleep, but by 2pm my eyes hurt from being awake. My eyes have generally not stopped hurting since, and now I've managed to catch myself a sore, itchy throat and a cough. This is not the way things are supposed to go. I blame it on multiple glasses of orange juice. And Keith's friend Josh is here. After getting a speeding ticket, he then got lost, so he started off in the hole and confused. They are currently playing raquetball to the best of my knowledge. Usually, it would be fine for someone to walk in as late as 3 or 4am, but tonight I'm wicked tired for no good reason. So tired, in fact, that I quit playing halo2 after just a couple hours. Brian also retired early, Josh is doing his radio show, and Nick and Mark haven't heard of the words "past 1" in a while. Aside from my diseased state and tired state, my day was fine. I may need some input for some quality blogs soon, because I've grown weary of diaryisms. And thanks for the comments, whoever leaves them, for they allow me the amusement factor of making fun of you, which is the only reason I read my blog in the first place. Now, it is darkness and silence for the skin above my eyes and the wrinkled flaps on the sides of my head.

Talking About Crap

Yes, I realize I've been hypocritical lately by criticizing other's blog neglect while simultaneously avoiding my own, so don't say it. "What's new," you ask? Oh, nuthin. Just chillin. Slept a bunch today, then woke up and got busy reading for anthropology. Keith, who came up to read from my textbook for our test tomorrow, pointed out that I didn't have the right textbook. Stupid me assumed that there could only be one book called "Talking About People: Readings in Contemporary Cultural Anthropology," when clearly this isn't the case. I said, "shit shit...shit shit" and proceeded to find a course of action. I ended up contacting maggie at dinner and getting claire's book, which I was only supposed to have until Claire returned to the suite (which gave me 40 minutes), but when I went to return it, nobody was at the door. I threw some snowballs at the windows of their suite, but nobody answered (maybe because I was throwing them at the wrong windows). So, after careful consideration, I decided it was too cold to be hatless and stand outside in the snowing atmosphere, so I returned and finished reading. Due to this, I finished the reading, and I'm satisfied. Now, all I have to do is take my test in that class, then another in Economics, and maybe I'll go to some other classes as well, maybe not. My emotion of the present is "ugh," so I don't feel like writing anything dramatic, insightful, et cetera. I will, however, for lack of anything better to offer, provide you with a poem I wrote during an English class. Here was the assignment: Jane and Sam are in ___ Park in ___ City. Suddenly, someone runs by and successfully grabs Jane's purse. Rewrite the moment as a poem, varying length, enjambled lines, and end-stopped lines.

The man-that man!
He's got my purse!
My jaw dropped as said thief ran.

Sam chased him around the block;
there was no telling when they'd stop.
I, of course, sat back and watched,
'cause I'm a no-good, fat biotch.

Then, I witnessed, from afar
Sam got run the hell over by a car.
I began to laugh then realized it was mean
so I glanced to see if I had been seen.

With Sam down, I faked a frown,
and made chase after the no-good clown
who had taken my purse, though nothing was inside:
my gun I carried by my side.

The neighborhood I knew quite well.
I lead my shot and heard him yell.
He dragged his shot-up leg away.
Had he returned my purse yet? Nay.

I stalked his blood trail (b/c I could)
and followed deftly through the 'hood.
Soon, I caught him, face to face
and then used, on him, my mace.

At this point he could not see.
I danced around in utter glee.
Rather than leave him on the ground,
I had all his hands and feet bound.

I then tied him to my truck.
I heard him yelling "WTF!!"
Sam found me soon, he was okay
and that's what happened, yesterday.

As you can see, it's not exactly what she asked for, but I tried...sort of. Sorry about the violence, but that's what came to me within the 30 minute span of writing time. Anyway, the poetry unit is over with. I do feel I came away from it with a greater respect for poetry, but that's about it. Anything else? Not really. I've been thinking a bit deeper lately, perhaps as a result of my exposure to Psychology and Anthropology, both of which I find interesting, so maybe one day soon I will provide you with my thoughts. Until I do, stay out of trouble, or if you don't, tell me about it so I may have something interesting to ponder.

W.W.C.D.?

If I had a girlfriend, what would I do with it? I would treat it with respect. I would always say nice things to it, like: "you look good today, just like every day, because you're georgeous," even if it wasn't. I would take it for walks, because I've heard those things like walks. I would spend quality time with it, like it was a good pet, with benefits. I would be sure to say, "yes, of course" to it, even when it was wrong, because those things like it when you agree and "support" them. Most of all though, I would have to treat it just like another human being, because such things apparently don't like being objectified. So if you find yourself in girl trouble, just ask yourself, "What Would Casey Do?" and the proper answer will shine through.

Geneseo Day

Keith and I went to Geneseo today as planned. I slept through my alarm set for 1130 so keith woke me up at 1230 and we left fifteen minutes later. It was good to see Ben, especially by surprising him with a random visit, and it was good to escape Alfred. We played some poker, because that's our style, and I won both games, even by playing my cards blind against Ben, because it was fun and I'm just that good. Don't you question me! I have three tests next week that are pressuring me because I've not done much yet and I feel unprepared. I wrote that poem below a few hours ago, but I've been thinking about it for a while. Every word was carefully chosen, so every line has meaning, which is how we deciphered Levine's poems. I'm very happy with it; I think it's deep, well written, structured... it's the best I've done. I love criticism though, so feel free to tell me what you think, got from it, whatever. But now I have to write a rough draft for our essay, due tomorrow. Mark isn't doing it, for he is angered by Yanda's ways and grading. It's always humorous to talk to him. I just watched Gladiator, with Nick and Mark, which is amazing. Neal is coming home this weekend from Vermont, so I'd like to see him, but I don't want to go home. I was home last weekend, and I want to stay in Alfred this weekend, whether it's from work I have to do or fatigue from traveling or something else. I told him I'd try to find a way home, but I've since decided I don't want to, so hopefully he'll have to drive himself here. I hope that's not selfish. Anyways, I've found myself in the balance between temptation and pressure lately, so I'm trying to win it for the good of my future. Damn my procrastination and sleep schedule! Even when Friday comes, I'm given no rest from the imminent work that lies before me, and follows me into my sleep. Okay, it doesn't go that far, but I seriously have a lot of reading and studying to do. I need to be more Ben-like and do work consistently. I'm pretty tired right now, but I'm going to at least outline my rough draft, so I can finish my rough draft by 3 pm tomorrow. I haven't really been in writing blog moods lately, which is why I haven't. I hope nobody has lost any sleep over it.

Another Line

Hastily I approached him
as he wandered up the path.
Gradually. Our distance closed
and soon I was behind him. The wind
blew into my face as I held my coat
tighter around my body like a blanket.
I had work to do back in my suite,
and the crunch of the snow
marked our footsteps with footprints.
Looking ahead, I scouted my pass to his right
but more people were in that lane.
So, I followed, single file behind him,
slowing my stride to match his.
Another man now had his place
behind me. Single file we marched,
through the cold, biting air. The young man
before me lit a cigarette. The followers
suffered as his smoke billowed behind him
into our faces, choking us.
But what would you do?
You stay in line, because
it's too troubling to take the lead.
You drop your plans,
you drop your individuality,
and you follow like everyone else.
You wear the same coat and jeans
too. What do we know or care
about what is underneath?
The snow continues to drift down about us,
and the footsteps fade away.

Singles Day Recap

Today was a hit. I made sure to wear my jeans so I would hate the day right from the start. It was rainy and cold and I was tired all day long. Nothing else happened, except I ate a slice of cheesecake and it was grood, I mean good. I almost went to the Day of Evil party, but then I realized that it was being thrown by the sci-fi nerds and there probably wouldn't be any magnetizing ladies. Brian, Josh, James and I had an amazing round of capture the flag and finally were in the lead, then the router went down and we forfeited the game. All was lost. It was really amazing though. We probably died, each, 10 times in sudden death before I scored in an exilarating triumph. Now I must bed myself to sleep.

Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day: a day I believe to be total crap. People in love suck. Seems like every holiday out there is a chance to say, "I love you" to whoever you feel like loving at the time. Creating a separate holiday specifically for the purpose of buying cards and flowers and gifts...it's crap. Before I bashed it too harshly, I made sure I did some research, so see if it actually was as crappy a holiday as I believed. Pretty much. The British are to blame. They had a few Saint Valentine's in their books; they don't know which one it is attributed most to. Supposedly, he married young couples in secret at a time when it wasn't allowed because Emperor Claudius II believed unmarried soldiers were better. Other stories contend that he was in prison and fell in love with the jailor's daughter and wrote her letters signed, "from your Valentine," in the third century. Since the day wasn't celebrated until the 1600s (1400 years later), it seems apparent that this guy wasn't really that special. Rather, the Brits were just looking for a holiday to commercialize with the theme that if you love her, you'll buy her something to show it. Now a whopping six countries/places celebrate it: the US, Britain, Mexico, Canada, Australia and France. The day was chosen because the 14th is supposedly the beginning of the bird's mating season. I hope you agree, Valentine's Day is a load of crap, despite some people who think it's sweet to have a lover's day. What really bugs me are people who think they have to get a girlfriend/boyfriend when Valentine's approaches, just so they can join in on the fun and get them something. Yeah...that is uber stupid. Maybe, and only if there actually is a relationship going on, should this day be celebrated. On the other hand, 85% of the card-buyers are women, according to the historychannel.com, and it's never a bad thing when I get mail. In fact, I jump for joy, even if it's a credit card offer, because I'll know that somebody didn't leave me off their list. Yay for credit card companies and their waste of paper!
If Aphrodite's son, Eros, tries his hand with that damn bow and arrow, I'll waste no time at punching him in the face! Then, I will find a very large gun and tear him to pieces, because I see right through his plans. He just likes shooting people with arrows! We'll see how much he likes getting shot back with bullets. Don't fall for the media's hype about this false holiday. If you have a girlfriend, I suppose you can get her something, but otherwise, you'd better not be buying anything. Of course, if school was cancelled, I would feel completely different about this holiday. It's go big or go home with holidays, so getting school off (which would make sense so you could spend it with your signif. other) would make me feel a lot better. Or maybe the Dean's and Superintendents just don't feel that high schoolers and college students should have relationships, in which case they aughta get bitch slapped, one-two, on both cheeks. I think I kinda lost track of where I was going, but I hope you caught the drift when it was there. In conclusion, Valentine's Day reminds single people that they aren't part of a "couple," a term that receives so much popularity, and some other stuff like blah sleep is the best the end.

Weekend Jamble

Once again, I must begin with excuses. Keith made the accusation/point that I don't blog everyday, which I semi-disagreed with. I try, sort of, when I care, but that isn't every day. However, since I was away in places other than Alfred, I have a valid reason this time.
Friday, Keith an' I left on a returning voyage to the amazing place of Canandaigua. He was bitter because he had to wait for my "sorry ass" to leave English class, which meant another 5 hours in alfred for him. Oh, dread! I had a dinner then we went up to Dennis and Josh's apartment, where we would spend the night. This girl, Sarah, was there from high school, and Pat too. Seems a bit strange to me that kids in college are hanging out with high school girls, but I guess when there's a certain hotness level to be had, there are exceptions. My idea was that when you go on to college you stop hanging out with high schoolers, but apparently this isn't always the case. I think the oddity of it all is heightened by the fact that I graduated early, so really, she's only one year younger, though I've been in college two years. So, it's a bit different than I initially thought.
It was really fun at the apartment. We got there at 8, after a stop at Tops, and after playing a fun session of "catch the ball" and having a smoothie of the frozen Strawberry variety, we played poker. Sarah and Dennis were playing, so I didn't think much of this game going on very long. Consequently, my heavy betting was frequent, even over really crappy hands, because hey, stupidity enhances fun. An hour later and we're still playing. Even when Pat joins, we just keep going. There was no second game anytime soon. I ran out of chips after the first ten minutes, then I decided to play better. When you don't have any chips, it really doesn't matter how well you play. So I had people covering my ante of 1 chip, for a while, so the max I could win was 5 chips. I managed to downplay my disappointment by being overly retarded and extremely excited when I had two or more chips, like it was the best day ever. I also repeatedly tried, unsuccessfully, to steal Dennis' chips. But since I always did it right before his eyes, I never had them for long. Damn. Next time I'll bring spare chips that I'll randomly bust out and play with. Sarah left at 1230, and JB was asleep in preparation for his diving meet, so those remaining talked. Then Dennis left for bed, so Pat, K-man and I talked. Then Pat left and K and I talked. It was pretty cool, conversing about friends, high school, and various things that popped into our heads. We were asleep at 230am, then I awoke at 1045 to people making fun of my unconciousness. Keith and Dennis had gone to the mall already somehow. To me, 1045 on a Saturday was wicked early, so I was proud of myself. We saw Josh dive at 12ish, which wasn't the most exciting thing. Honestly, I was bored. Wrestling meets are thousands of times more exciting. One black kid nearly died doing some backflips though, so that was exciting. When it was over, Lauren and Dennis were hitting each other, and Dennis was acting tough, which he absolutely isn't (and he knows it), so that was funny. Keith's friends are pretty cool, despite what some people might say. I get along well with their company and enjoy their hilarity. I guess I went home and did some wiring of appliances for my family, and random stuff related to the TV for a few hours. Then, we watched Spartan and Without a Paddle, both of which were good. On the day that seems like today (because it probably is), I woke up to my mother's bidding at 1030 for some omellete and bagel foods. This is very unusual for my mom to make food, but I ate it, and the eggs were strangely good. Then nothing happened until suddenly I was here, reporting these events and non-events to my readers. My mom and dad were both talking to me about what Major I would move into, what college I would join, what job I would get, both for the summer and career-wise. It was annoying, because I really don't know, so it's stress to think about. I guess I gotta decide sometime though. I'm not sure if my spell-check is working, because the last few blogs I haven't had a single misspelling. I guess I'm just a genius when it comes to spelling words. Such is my gift and curse, for misspellings on other blogs bother me. If you type something, even as casual as a blog, I think it should spell words correctly. Punctuation can suck, because I don't know how to use it, so I won't notice bad punctuation usually. It does bother me though, except for every time and again. That's it for now. Go find something better and more important to do. In fact, send me an IM. That would entertain me. My socializing on AIM has dwindled to the brink of the void, and I don't want to get sucked in. Nevermind about commenting, because no matter how much I threaten you or your cats, you really don't care. Last time, I made it abundantly clear you should comment, and despite getting another 15 visitors, only 3 responded. You guys suck. And only two of the three were positive, so that's more reason to say I suck. Darn. Looks like it's time to find something better to do with my time.

Place the Blame Squarely On...

Nothing important occurred on this day. Why are you still here? Oh, you think that just because I'm still writing, that means you should keep reading. Well, the gig's up! Actually, today Keith came over and we played poker with real chips, then played tennis and then watched Napolean Dynamite (again), and Saved (again). Both of those things are great. I also ate one of my lunches with keith and rachel. I also didn't play any Halo2 today(wait scratch that, I played for about 20 minutes). But 20 minutes and under is virtually nothing, so that doesn't count. So, in many respects, today was unusual.
My major epiphany of the day was that I shouldn't wear these pants ever again; during English class, they squished my balls for 50 minutes, and it sucked. I couldn't do anything to fix it, and I ended up with that really sick feeling in my stomach that males get after they've been in agony for a class period of tight pant torture (or is that just me?). I've had these since freshman year, and the only reason I still wear them is because they're my only pair of jeans. Yet, despite this drawback, I'm still keeping these pants until I get another pair of jeans, and that may not happen for many many more weeks. I'm not a frequent shopper of pants. If you were my neighbor during English class today, you would've heard me mumble, "ouchie," "ack," and possibly "gah!" under my breath. I was reminded of Coach Z saying, "once again, I place the blame squarely on tight pants!" I must say I never really noticed how old/tight these pants were until today. But since I've come across this discovery, now I can wear my tight pants with pride, strutting only as one who recognizes his own pants are tight would, placing my hands in my pockets and having no more room for anything, and unbutton them at the end of the day, only to say, "Tight Pants, you may have outwitted me into wearing you today, but tomorrow will be the end of you!"
As a conclusive note, may I repeat that, by far, not enough of you are bringing joy to my life, the only thing that matters, via commenting on this here blog. Said blog clearly brings your life entertainment when times are tough. You return from your college escapades, day after day, only to feel the relief of learning how this guy managed to bungle his day. You chuckle to yourself at how things suck for him, and ponder at his genius thoughts whenever they occur, as well as escape from the stress of your own lives, if only for the duration of a few minutes, then leave without giving back. Might I point out to you, that your comment brings me joy to the max? Even if your comment is retarded, I'll find some way of turning it into a good one. Suggestions, comments, musings, responses, feedback, critiques: these are all revered by daily Blog Mules such as myself. As one of Stevo's commentors noted, the coolness of a person is directly related to the number of comments he or she receieves on his or her blog. Y'all know how I strive to lead the way for all those who are deemed cool, and always have. If you're not cool, you're not cool, and that's not cool. Please! All I ask is to sink deeper into the Sphere of Popularity, for in the core I will be next to the very coolest, like everyone else when they stand next to me! So, now that I have your pity, please comment on my blogs, for else I will be left in a bottomless pit of sorrow of which I will die in (when you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation). If you don't comment, I will not only find your cat, but I will steal it, then give it to a hungry Chinese family.
I nominate myself for the Chauvinist of the Day award. In Economics class, sheets were getting passed out to us students to fill out and rate our professor on his teaching, which they would use to see if he should return to teach at Alfred in the future. This girl Tara didn't get one, along with a couple others near her. She's always asking questions and speaking up. She innocently asked the teacher, "were we all supposed to get them?" I said, "NO. Just the males," as flatly and seriously as ever. More than one person cracked up, thus, it was my best comment of the week. Once the laughter wore off, I immediately thought to myself, "it's comments like these that explain why I don't have a girl." Tara is a babe, too. Whenever she talks I'm greatful because I get an excuse to look at her. There's actually a babe in my English class, too. It's nice not having all engineering classes so that beautiful people can share the classroom, too!
Thursday is my day off of classes, so I'll get to sleep in until 2pm like always. Then, I have a psyche test to study for, maybe some other crap, and then Keith and I are returning to CA for the weekend, where we will play poker with at least one other, and I'll get to see a family member or two. Don't forget: commenting means your cat stays safe!

My Mad Skillz

Once again, I was up late playing Halo2. I decided I would fix my sleep schedule by staying up all night, but around 7am my brain decided it was time to sleep, and I just passed out. So, I set my alarm to wake me up at 9am. At 9:30, I awoke to discover I was late. I faced the dilema of whether to go late to class, and decided it was best. So I hurried myself the best I could, and arrived in class at 9:46. As soon as I arrived, I was back asleep, and my professor asked someone to wake me up and told me to leave. Damn! So...yeah. I totally failed Lessons in Punctuality and Conciousness, and now my professor and everyone in the class agrees I suck at life. In fact, I think they had a discussion about it once I left. So, after spending my time alone in the hall for the remainder of the class unconcious, I got up as children left and I headed to Anthropology. This class was not exciting, either, and I proceeded to sleep my way through it. Then, as I left that class to return to my dorm, I managed the brilliance of leaving my backpack in my anthro class. I noticed this as I was in my suite preparing to lie down. I had the option of going all the way down to find it, or sleep. Sleep was much closer in proximity to me, so I chose that. Waking at 4pm, I headed down and found it in the anthro room against the wall, so that was good. I thought it was warm, so I had left without a jacket, and it was raining much to my delight. So I froze on the way back. In my bumbling state on return to my suite, an attractive female I was unfamiliar with approached and asked me a question. Luckily, I had no clue what was going on, and I couldn't even understand her question. "Wait...um...uhh. I didn't hear you," I wittingly responded. "Do you know the time?" "The time? I am unfamiliar with it." She said, "ok, nevermind," as I walked away confused. People should really not ask strangers complicated questions out of nowhere. So, I lose for appearing retarded in the presence of an A.F.(attractive female). But the best was yet to come, as I had left my key on my desk in my suite. So, I stood outside, too lazy to contact anyone from above, freezing for a period of time, until someone randomly opened the door and I mozied my way in. Then I resumed my sleep until 7pm, took a shower, ate a dinner, and did some homework. That's about all for this day. Genny said she wanted to learn something from my blog, so I must appease my fans. Random fact: when Carebears poop, they cry.

Demerits to Spare!

I give myself minus 10, NO!--minus 100, for playing halo on Monday. Then, I award myself another 85 demerits for getting mad over the gayness of the games, then minus another 93 for continuing to play when I wasn't doing well. Now I give Brian minus 2000 because he asked how Halo was being gay and I explained then he just left because of my explanation. If he didn't want the damn answer then he shouldn't ask! But I got my credit card and bought some foods at Wal-mart and Wegmans(the ultimate bargain type of shopping!), and I got a headset. Somehow, it took roughly 1.26 hours to find the headset I wanted that wasn't sold out, because the first 6 pages on Froogle were sold out; it was ridiculous. And I didn't pay the "hurry it up" shipping because I'm cheapo like that, even though I want it soon. The delivery said 2-4 days, and the next upgrade was 2-3 days, so it didn't seem worth it. But now I may have to wait until next Tuesday, and that would be a travesty because of my impatience. Keith was pretty cool today, so he gets +90, despite being sick and skipping some classes, so he's the only person who gained any points today (except maybe some Halo kids talking with German accents and being hilarious for a couple hours). I also attended a mandatory Fire Safety video for my suite, and it warned me to take fire precautions, because Joe Smith won't! Damn you, Joe Smith!! Endangering my life!

SuperBowl Sunday

It's after 3am and I should be headed to bed, but first I'll update a bit. The SuperBowl was today, and I watched that of course, because not watching it means you're missing out on American Culture. I'm not a fan of either the Patriots or the Eagles, but true to myself, I pick a team to support just before the game starts and root for that team. In this case, since I started watching it with Brian, I chose to vote for the Eagles. Eventually Zara came over and then it wasn't any fun. I don't like Zara for multiple reasons; she's really loud, she thinks she's hot when she isn't, she's obnoxious in her rooting for the opposite team, she gets angry if you disagree with her, her voice is very monotone and therefore uber annoying, and probably more. So I watched the game in Brian's room alone, but when someone you dislike comes over and spoils your game watching experience, it's not good. I did some homework and played an hour of halo, because if I didn't play it then I wouldn't be me. The stats on Bungie.net are down today for Updating, so I can't recall the specifics, but I won every single game on Slayer. I think I played four or five, so my ranking is probably getting closer to 15. I'm quite disappointed because I wanted to see how much I had gone up. I wasn't playing well, as in, I felt like I had no control over the joystick, but at the same time I was getting insane amounts of headshots out of my spastic movements, so it was pretty cool. Multiple double kills and two triple kills were achieved with the sniper, so I was pretty down with it. I also watched the homestarrunner halftime show, which was well worth my time. Anyway, the tip of the hat today goes to Keith for getting my Visa card from my house on his way back to Alfred. Because of this, now I can order things like a headset from online stores. I want some of those Budweiser and FedEx commercials saved on my computer, but first I'm off to sleep.

Multiple Kidneyosis

Today, I witnessed lots of kidney pain. They were worse yesterday and today because I played raquetball a couple days ago. But then I played raquetball today with Nick, and it got thousands of times worse. I tried playing through the pain because of my competitiveness and refusal to lose attitude. Yes, I lost anyway, but I'm in so much pain now. It's not the constant pain, but if I move, like at all, it's horrible. I took 1500 mg of advil, but it didn't do anything because it isn't muscle pain apparently. Just now, I got really really hungry. My stomach is saying "feed me!" but I can't do anything. I guess I'll put on ramen when I'm done feeding my appetite for blogging. Today was decent. Actually it kicked ass because I woke up before two people in this place: Brian and Shannon, his friend from home, and I almost woke up before Josh. Josh told me I didn't beat anybody because I set my alarm. Damn! I was so proud of myself for not being the last to awaken. Josh, Brian, Shannon and I had lunch at 3pm until 430pm, but that's all I've eaten today, except for a liter of Pepsi after raquetball. I think caffeine makes you really hungry. I also did laundry today, but they're all quite wrinkled, so I'm only wishing for an iron at this point. I also watched Boondock Saints for the fourth time or so with the suite. Personally, I think it's overrated (my suite thinks it's the best movie of all time), but I do like it, enough so that I've seen it multiple times. I'm not a great critic of movies though, I either like it or I don't, and usually it isn't the latter. I have difficulties rating one movie over another. Time for some ramen, and preparation for tomorrow.

Guessing Games

Sometimes, when I see a girl, like if she's not facing me, I will wonder whether she is hot or not. I'll generally rate her based on the shape, build and shininess of the hair. It will take me a few seconds, but finally I'll come up with my answer as to whether she's hot. Sometimes she'll turn around and I'll be completely fooled! I'll walk up to her and tell her she tricked me. I usually won't know her name, so I'll just say, "hey, you fooled me!" Then, I'll walk away. They never catch on. The worst is when I think she's attractive, then she turns around and (alas!) she's not hot at all. Indeed, repulsive. I want to run away. I even feel ashamed for mistaking her for a hottie. When this happens, I feel so betrayed and so ashamed, that I will often go to my room and cry later that night. This happens several times a week here at Alfred. By this time, I should know the number and names of everyone who's hot on campus, but sometimes I'll get my hopes up. This happened to me today at Powell, as she checked her mail. Her hair was very shiny, so I gave her high marks in that category, and she was built alright. But the shininess blinded my judgement and I predicted she was good material to study. Then she finished checking her mail and turned around. The horror! It's days like today that make me not want to play this game, because in situations like this, there are no winners. So my advice to you, if you venture to identify attractive women when the opportunities arise: prepare for the worst, because when you're wrong, completely wrong, it's like getting slapped in the face with a grotesque, hairy, used dildo, and that's never a good thing.

Poems, Essays About

Yay! At least I want to say, "yay." I just finished outlining my paper and it's looking friggin' sweeeeet. Everything somehow came together, and I found out that they actually are very closely related in theme, and I hadn't originally thought this. I'm linking In Cities, Be Alert and Encounter, both by Annie Finch. I'm excited about how everything came together and my three paragraphs will work fine. So I have the hard part out of the way. It's easy to B.S. words together once you have the idea of what to talk about. I just watched Office Space with Nick and Mark about an hour ago, as a means of putting off work I guess. No, its viewing was more along the lines of it being more interesting than work, thus it distracted me. Prioritizing gone wrong? Perhaps. Anyways, here's a poem I wrote for/during English following the iambic pentameter (stress is on the second syllable) quattrain (four lines) form, as instructed:

Once upon a time
I had an English class.
She asked me to rhyme;
I said, "kiss my ass."

No, no. That wasn't it. Let me try again:

To know or not to know?
I sit in class and think-
to moil and toil to show
a teacher how I think?

Ideas don't come to mind;
I rarely get my sleep.
Yet, still I try to find
A word that rhymes with "neat."

Someday I'll find a way
to get this project done;
until I do I'll stay
and try to have some fun.

Hooray for this poém
'cause clearly it's the best!
But, few things rhyme with poem,
what the fuckin' heck!

It moves from concern over lack of topics to write about, and the authors excuses over why he can't think of them, to celebration/realization over succeeding in writing something valuable, to frustration at the very end because the author can't rhyme everything the way he wants it to. He finds at the end that it isn't as good as he thought it was. I call it, "pure genius." It gets extra wittiness points for being a poem written in response to my lack of ideas to write a poem about.
I also wrote an in depth response to a psychology question on blackboard for extra credit and I'm happy with my lengthy response and citation of books and tv shows to back up my case. I felt intelligent. I totally owned the question, which was: If your brain was somehow transplanted into another body, which would you consider to be your self - the new body with your old brain or your old body with a new brain? What would it be like if the two of you met? If anyone actually is curious what I wrote, get a life. Or I could tell you. Or I could copy and paste it. But, I doubt anyone cares enough for me to do that. So, in response to what my readers want, I'm following their best interest by leaving it out. I feel good again. Earlier today, I felt like shit, and dreaded both writing this paper and the prospect of me being up all night without any idea of what to write about. I have a busy schedule, so I must be off. To homework, I say!

Apple Sauce?

In response to the copious amounts of angry hate IMs I've received over my minimal amount of blogging in the past week, here I am. Also, it's Thursday, my day off, so I don't have anything better to do. Ben suggested I blog about apple sauce; I don't even know how many words that is, but I hope it's two. But, true to my word, I must now blog about apple sauce, regardless of how stupid it is a subject, and how little I have studied it.
So there it is: this sauce made of apples. Truthfully, I don't think it should be titled as a sauce. I can't name one food I'll top off with apple sauce. Ketchup, for example, is a great sauce, because it tops off lots of foods. But apples don't fare well in the sauce industry. That is why apple sauce is a failure. I mean, it's called a sauce, but you eat it by itself. I can actually say I've eaten apple sauce within the last two weeks because I forgot what it tasted like and I needed a reminder. Yes, it wasn't delicious, but neither are apples. The fact that these fruit companies think they're being clever, by mushing a fruit up and selling it as a separate product, vexes me. You don't see banana sauce or orange paste out there do you? That's because those fruits taste good by themselves, and don't need multiple forms of it to make it sell. It's more of a soup actually, and I don't want to eat a fruit that reminds me of a soup: an apply-colored soup with chunks in it.
Today, I woke up at 330pm because I was up until 4am playing Halo2. I'm still at level 14, which is good, because I wasn't playing like a level 14 yesterday and I didn't lose my rank. Today I declared to be Homework-Accomplishing Day, so I'm not doing anything besides work today (oops, I'm blogging). I read most of the book Eve, which is a collection of poems, because I have to write an essay comparing and contrasting two poems in that book due tomorrow. Besides that, I did my Anthro homework and set up my printer, and complained because our Alfred network connection kept going down and kicking me off the internet. Oh yeah-I just remembered why I haven't been blogging; it's because while I'm writing I'll get antsy that I'm not doing work or playing halo. But I have to choose my poems now and write this 4 page paper, which will actually be a challenge because it'll be the first paper I've written in about a year. Bye bye.

Maximum Crash Time

Today, I was a bat-like biotch. I was up all night, went to Psyche class, and died trying. My professor was talking about the different sections of the brain, which I had generally already learned, and it was utterly uncaptivating. I tried, oh so hard I tried, to stay awake. But it was to no avail. I kept closing my eyes whenever I looked down. That class seemed hours long, because I fell asleep and woke up about 6 times in the 50 minutes period. I wouldn't have tried staying awake, except my professor made it clear in the first days of class that he didn't like it when kids slept in his class, and I want to have a good impression with him to keep my grades high. Anthropology was cancelled in lieu of us going to the careers fair at Powell, and English is always cancelled on Tuesdays in lieu of us having optional "conference days." So I headed back to my bed and slept until 9:30. I've got to get this sleep thing under control, and my Haloing under control. I feel, at 12:40am, very fresh and clean; I'm rested, showered, shaven, full, and have clean teeth! But now is not the time for that. I should be feeling like this in the mornings, not at midnight. So, I'm going to bed at 1am. I'm not sure if it's doable, but if I get sleep, I'll be happy. This week, I'm setting the goal before myself to get all my homework done while sleeping at nights instead of days. I'm resisting the urge to start Halo or stay online. Wish me luck!