Place the Blame Squarely On...
Nothing important occurred on this day. Why are you still here? Oh, you think that just because I'm still writing, that means you should keep reading. Well, the gig's up! Actually, today Keith came over and we played poker with real chips, then played tennis and then watched Napolean Dynamite (again), and Saved (again). Both of those things are great. I also ate one of my lunches with keith and rachel. I also didn't play any Halo2 today(wait scratch that, I played for about 20 minutes). But 20 minutes and under is virtually nothing, so that doesn't count. So, in many respects, today was unusual.
My major epiphany of the day was that I shouldn't wear these pants ever again; during English class, they squished my balls for 50 minutes, and it sucked. I couldn't do anything to fix it, and I ended up with that really sick feeling in my stomach that males get after they've been in agony for a class period of tight pant torture (or is that just me?). I've had these since freshman year, and the only reason I still wear them is because they're my only pair of jeans. Yet, despite this drawback, I'm still keeping these pants until I get another pair of jeans, and that may not happen for many many more weeks. I'm not a frequent shopper of pants. If you were my neighbor during English class today, you would've heard me mumble, "ouchie," "ack," and possibly "gah!" under my breath. I was reminded of Coach Z saying, "once again, I place the blame squarely on tight pants!" I must say I never really noticed how old/tight these pants were until today. But since I've come across this discovery, now I can wear my tight pants with pride, strutting only as one who recognizes his own pants are tight would, placing my hands in my pockets and having no more room for anything, and unbutton them at the end of the day, only to say, "Tight Pants, you may have outwitted me into wearing you today, but tomorrow will be the end of you!"
As a conclusive note, may I repeat that, by far, not enough of you are bringing joy to my life, the only thing that matters, via commenting on this here blog. Said blog clearly brings your life entertainment when times are tough. You return from your college escapades, day after day, only to feel the relief of learning how this guy managed to bungle his day. You chuckle to yourself at how things suck for him, and ponder at his genius thoughts whenever they occur, as well as escape from the stress of your own lives, if only for the duration of a few minutes, then leave without giving back. Might I point out to you, that your comment brings me joy to the max? Even if your comment is retarded, I'll find some way of turning it into a good one. Suggestions, comments, musings, responses, feedback, critiques: these are all revered by daily Blog Mules such as myself. As one of Stevo's commentors noted, the coolness of a person is directly related to the number of comments he or she receieves on his or her blog. Y'all know how I strive to lead the way for all those who are deemed cool, and always have. If you're not cool, you're not cool, and that's not cool. Please! All I ask is to sink deeper into the Sphere of Popularity, for in the core I will be next to the very coolest, like everyone else when they stand next to me! So, now that I have your pity, please comment on my blogs, for else I will be left in a bottomless pit of sorrow of which I will die in (when you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation). If you don't comment, I will not only find your cat, but I will steal it, then give it to a hungry Chinese family.
I nominate myself for the Chauvinist of the Day award. In Economics class, sheets were getting passed out to us students to fill out and rate our professor on his teaching, which they would use to see if he should return to teach at Alfred in the future. This girl Tara didn't get one, along with a couple others near her. She's always asking questions and speaking up. She innocently asked the teacher, "were we all supposed to get them?" I said, "NO. Just the males," as flatly and seriously as ever. More than one person cracked up, thus, it was my best comment of the week. Once the laughter wore off, I immediately thought to myself, "it's comments like these that explain why I don't have a girl." Tara is a babe, too. Whenever she talks I'm greatful because I get an excuse to look at her. There's actually a babe in my English class, too. It's nice not having all engineering classes so that beautiful people can share the classroom, too!
Thursday is my day off of classes, so I'll get to sleep in until 2pm like always. Then, I have a psyche test to study for, maybe some other crap, and then Keith and I are returning to CA for the weekend, where we will play poker with at least one other, and I'll get to see a family member or two. Don't forget: commenting means your cat stays safe!
My major epiphany of the day was that I shouldn't wear these pants ever again; during English class, they squished my balls for 50 minutes, and it sucked. I couldn't do anything to fix it, and I ended up with that really sick feeling in my stomach that males get after they've been in agony for a class period of tight pant torture (or is that just me?). I've had these since freshman year, and the only reason I still wear them is because they're my only pair of jeans. Yet, despite this drawback, I'm still keeping these pants until I get another pair of jeans, and that may not happen for many many more weeks. I'm not a frequent shopper of pants. If you were my neighbor during English class today, you would've heard me mumble, "ouchie," "ack," and possibly "gah!" under my breath. I was reminded of Coach Z saying, "once again, I place the blame squarely on tight pants!" I must say I never really noticed how old/tight these pants were until today. But since I've come across this discovery, now I can wear my tight pants with pride, strutting only as one who recognizes his own pants are tight would, placing my hands in my pockets and having no more room for anything, and unbutton them at the end of the day, only to say, "Tight Pants, you may have outwitted me into wearing you today, but tomorrow will be the end of you!"
As a conclusive note, may I repeat that, by far, not enough of you are bringing joy to my life, the only thing that matters, via commenting on this here blog. Said blog clearly brings your life entertainment when times are tough. You return from your college escapades, day after day, only to feel the relief of learning how this guy managed to bungle his day. You chuckle to yourself at how things suck for him, and ponder at his genius thoughts whenever they occur, as well as escape from the stress of your own lives, if only for the duration of a few minutes, then leave without giving back. Might I point out to you, that your comment brings me joy to the max? Even if your comment is retarded, I'll find some way of turning it into a good one. Suggestions, comments, musings, responses, feedback, critiques: these are all revered by daily Blog Mules such as myself. As one of Stevo's commentors noted, the coolness of a person is directly related to the number of comments he or she receieves on his or her blog. Y'all know how I strive to lead the way for all those who are deemed cool, and always have. If you're not cool, you're not cool, and that's not cool. Please! All I ask is to sink deeper into the Sphere of Popularity, for in the core I will be next to the very coolest, like everyone else when they stand next to me! So, now that I have your pity, please comment on my blogs, for else I will be left in a bottomless pit of sorrow of which I will die in (when you fall in a bottomless pit, you die of starvation). If you don't comment, I will not only find your cat, but I will steal it, then give it to a hungry Chinese family.
I nominate myself for the Chauvinist of the Day award. In Economics class, sheets were getting passed out to us students to fill out and rate our professor on his teaching, which they would use to see if he should return to teach at Alfred in the future. This girl Tara didn't get one, along with a couple others near her. She's always asking questions and speaking up. She innocently asked the teacher, "were we all supposed to get them?" I said, "NO. Just the males," as flatly and seriously as ever. More than one person cracked up, thus, it was my best comment of the week. Once the laughter wore off, I immediately thought to myself, "it's comments like these that explain why I don't have a girl." Tara is a babe, too. Whenever she talks I'm greatful because I get an excuse to look at her. There's actually a babe in my English class, too. It's nice not having all engineering classes so that beautiful people can share the classroom, too!
Thursday is my day off of classes, so I'll get to sleep in until 2pm like always. Then, I have a psyche test to study for, maybe some other crap, and then Keith and I are returning to CA for the weekend, where we will play poker with at least one other, and I'll get to see a family member or two. Don't forget: commenting means your cat stays safe!
posted by Casey at 2:53 AM
2 Comments:
"babes" and "appease women"?...I can't believe you guys actually think like that...no wonder you're single.
But you did quote teen girl squad and that is awesome.
Elyse takes me seriously and that's what I love about her. haha. Keith, your cat was never in danger of my hungry Chinese family, the Wangs. And Steve, your comment brings me lots of joy. Don't listen to Elyse's mindless criticism of your diction.
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