Let's Go Get Some Mt. Dew!!

So now that I've officially lost all my visitors to this site ever, I'm going to write something. Let's see, last weekend was Hot Dog Weekend, despite my earlier post where I thought it was a different week because I lost track of the days, and Bob, his friend AJ, Derek and Nicole came over. It was the pwnz0r weekend because they are all awesome. What else...we got the facebook here. I've had it for about a week. I must say it is very destructive to everything because it's so addictive and it doesn't DO anything! I wish it did something so I wouldn't feel completely worthless when I was on looking at these "friends" I may have met once, or friends of friends I've never met. We played soccer and tied 1-1 yesterday and we have another game tonight. Oh! I talked with a hot girl yesterday, which is a good step forward in the right direction, because usually eye contact is tough, let alone initiating this word play you humans consider talking. Um...I was introduced to this drunken state you party-goers refer to as "being drunk" this weekend. Or maybe I wasn't, for those of you who want to still think of me as Straight edge. Anyways, it was a lot of fun and from now on I'm going to become an alcoholic because it sounds like fun. I just spent several hours writing this 6 page paper for English, and it's alright, but it's due later today and I still have to get Mark's book to put in quotes, because my stupid wench of a teacher likes that we do that with "proper MLA format." Okay, I'll head down to psyche now (or maybe I won't and I'm just messing with you).

more poems

Shadow Boy
by me

"Catch up to your shadow!"
The light plays tricks he cannot understand.
No matter his speed, the shadow is faster.
He can catch everyone else's,
but not his own.
Day after day, his shadow eluded him.
"Keep trying," his parents had always told him
and he trusted their advice.
Strangers wondered at the boy,
and children pointed and giggled,
but he was unphased.
He believes that if he keeps trying,
one day he will get it.

Eulogy for a Boy
by me

His favorite character was Goku.
He had two best friends: Billy and Jake.
He loved sweets and warheads.
During the summer, he played video games
with his two best friends.
He was fat but excited and hyper.
He could talk for hours about his
favourite baseball or hockey team.
He spent hours each day Instant Messaging
and watching television.
He dreamed of being an astronaut and
an actor.
He got into trouble at school, but he meant well.
There are 6.3 billion people on this planet.
Now there are 6.3 billion minus one.

Mirror Man
by me

Nobody knew
he was the most depressed man
to ever live.

He had mirrors everywhere
in his house.
People thought him conceited
and he boasted often,
but he was the biggest failure
to ever live.

Teetering on success,
he never made it,
and no one could find him
an excuse.

He lied to himself often,
making up truths
even he couldn't believe.
One day he realized everything;
on that day he died.

It's time for a poem

Image of Self (or some such title)

You are a commoner,
but your friends call you "unique."
Somehow, you wound up on a ship
and got washed out to sea,
knowing you have a face that's easy
to forget,
and a name that's hard
to remember.

When the sun shines,
the clouds disappear.
Nothing else matters.

When the sun isn't shining
you don't know when it will.
We stay holed up in our living quarters,
hiding from the inevitable.

Sometimes the seas are rough.
As a sailor, it affects you
but not everyone
(not that they matter).

How can they judge you
when you return?
They've been on land continuously
and who knows where you've been?

You may tell them,
and they might listen,
but you are lying
because you have no choice.
We are clouded.

And even though you were gone,
the sea is in the past.
We gaze over the shimmering surface
and see nothing but beauty.

The sun sets.
Children return to their homes.
The streets grow silent.
We have the decision to go back.



So that's a poem I provide to you. I wrote it during English when I was supposed to be discussing some book. It needs a title though. Tell me what ya think and I will give you a cookie. Seriously. I can get them from the dining hall. Some of them are even edible. I'll see if I can get one of those. They have some sugar cookies that aren't bad half the time. Spring is here and it makes me very happy: not just the fact that winter is over, but that there's something in the air that's different and it carries with it a feeling of glee. It's been very warm and sunny lately. Everyone has been outside. I even spent two and a half hours playing ultimate frisbee with some of my compadres and associates. It was good. I also leveled up to 16 today again, woot! And today is good because it's Friday! Recently I had up the away message "I may be on your buddy list, but that doesn't mean you ever talk to me," and it got numerous responses. Pity is the best. Guilt tripping works. I had many people message me and one of them I hadn't talked to ever. I felt clever for instigating so many responses. Elyse said my message was so sad, but actually it's true, and it's true for a lot of people, not just me. Josh has a subheading for his buddies called, "people I know but don't talk to." I told him he could put a lot more people on that list. If I had that title, I would put almost everyone I know on it, and there's a fine line constituting the "almost." If anyone knows a good book to read, tell me, because I need to read some more so I can increase my brain stats and have a vocabulary. I'm pretty sure I used to use words I can't even understand now. The 15 year old me was probably more vocabularily competent, and only slightly less wise, though wisdom is nothing but a series of opinions. Darn it. I'm really thirsty now. Hot Dog Weekend is this weekend. I'm going to bed now. Cheerio!

Indeed, Where Have I Gone??

For all those who've waited patiently for my return, here it is, ephemeral though it may be. Here is my explanation: I gave up. My efforts at informing anyone I don't talk to ceased. I got caught up in my own jumble of trumble. Nothing is new. Life is still life. Details are meaningless when compared with the whole. I lost my room key a while ago. I went bowling. I played some frisbee. I went to some classes. Whatev. The important event of the day is that I will do laundry. There it is. Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again. Perhaps when inspiration hits me, I'll be ready. 'Till then, adieu.

Nope, not again

Well, I just wrote a long post and it got deleted, so you know what I say to that? fuck that. It's probably for the best b/c that shit shouldn't be said. Now, I will take it in an entirely new direction and be positive! (even though there's so much negative) For recap of what never got capped in the first place in your eyes: I've wanted to toss certain females out of windows lately, my sleep schedule has been f-ed up again, I was really sick a couple days ago, and I'm more conceited than I want to be in halo. Neal sent me that linked site today and it has been quite entertaining. Visit it and have fun reading about people's confessions. Neal is coming over to the dreary land of Alfred monday, so that should be fun. And then he and Alex are coming down friday! Woo! And intramural soccer starts Thursday when Team Hasselhoff has games at 8:35 and 9:10. I hope we get a good number of quality girls on our team so we don't lose. I want to win all our games. Killian is in charge of contacting them, since nobody else knows where they exist. I've been playing some halo lately and online I've seen some amazing pro clips, montages and the like. Check them out. Friday I skipped English class in favor of playing Halo1 all day w/ James, Brian and Josh and it was very much worth it. I need to fix my sleep schedule again. I practically had it fixed, but then getting sick messed it up again. Stupid viruses...

Laziness

Today was rather lazy. I woke up at 9 to my alarm, but decided it would be better if I went back to bed. So, I did. I set it again for 10 for my next class, but when I woke up for that one, I was also too tired, so I went back to bed. I had some dreams, like one dream where I had left my clarinet in the band room even and then quit the band, so I kept trying to get in the band room and get my instrument back, but I was embarassed to be seen in the band room trying to find my instrument. I kept getting the wrong clarinet, and every time I thought I had the right one, it was somebody else's. Finally, I gave up and just said to the whole band my problem and I got it. Then, I was walking around in the hall and these two guys and two hot but 13-ish aged girls were walking by acting like jerks along beside me in a line. We were walking for a while and I wanted to pass them, but they just kept bumpin into me, until I said, "I'm not havin' a good day, bug off." Then they wanted to start a fight about it, and I just walked away and their insult was, "I recommend you walk away!" even though I already was, so I laughed at them. Then, I got brought into their dilemma, because the girls had kicked a baby to death. They were angry at the child because it had started crying when they were having sex with those two guys and their parents caught them. The obvious thing to do is take your anger out on the helpless baby. Death by kicking! Somehow I witnessed them kicking it to death too. Then, I felt bad about seeing a baby kicked to death, but I woke up soon after. By this time it was almost 330. I do love sleeping long hours too much. Then, I played some Halo w/ James and Brian, then I went lifting w/ Brian, and then I got a buffalo chicken wrap that was way too hot for me and I burned up my entire mouth, but still it was good. Then, mark was drunk and being goofy in the suite. I played some more halo then the network died. Now, I'm talking to Derek for the first time in months. He broke up w/ Nicole last monday, who he'd been dating for over two years, maybe pushin' three. Life sucks when relationships end, but it sounds like it was all her fault and he had no choice. Whatev. But now, I'm goin back to bed to dream of killing innocent creatures.

Livin' in a Winter Wonderland

Reasons I haven't blogged for a week include: I was at home so I'm not on the computer much, I'm lazy, and I forgot my password. Needless to say, many amazing noteworthy things happened, and I would tell you about them, but I forgot. Maybe they weren't so important after all. I will touch upon some things I recall, for your enjoyment:
Friday...I arrived and did nothing; Saturday, I spent w/ Blair and saw Be Cool; Sunday, my sis came over and we cleaned, cooked, and shopped; Monday, Gagne and Alex came over and we had an excursion; Tuesday, my sister came over again and then my parents came back from Florida; Wednesday, nothing I recall; Thursday, hung out with the Gagneé at the YMCA, attempting to learn how to wall-flip (which only ended in pain and failure); Friday, I went to UB and toured the place, and I saw Steve for a bit; Saturday, I went to Jen's party and saw everybody again; Sunday, I went to the Seussical w/ Jake and Blair, then came back here. Now, I am here, and my week is over and summed up in one sentence. I left a basket of stuff at home, and I'm sad, because spending time with my parents leaves me feeling depressed, and then they tell me I'm depressing, and it makes me more depressed, then they tell me all the things I have to do and all the decisions I have to make, and that is furthermore disheartening. It seems like I'm only happy when I'm around people, and yet here I am, in my room isolating myself from others with my closed door, with an essay to start and it's due tomorrow. Sigh... There's one thing that would make me happy right now and that's not happening. On the bright side, it appears I caught the cold my parents have had for the past week. I'll cut the crap: I'm in Alfred, and it's not that exciting. My week off was not essential, and though somewhat informative, it was not utilized properly to maximize my satisfaction. So for everyone reading this to keep tabs on me, there it is: I feel like bla right now, but thanks for your concern. I'm going to get started on that essay now, because I'm all about the getting of "things" achieved recently. Best of luck to everyone else returning to college or home.