Hmm...Poker will flop

So...yeah. Apparently nobody can go to poker. Blair has plans w/ my arch nemesis, Keith has a date at the movies, Brian has a family illness, Ben said maybe, Jon is at college, I haven't called greg or gags yet, and adam said probably. So maybe noone will come, but at very best I could have brian, greg, gags and adam and ben. I have no predictions, but I'm guessing 1 person for a while, then 2 or 3. I guess if I was optimistic I could think that it will be fun regardless of who comes. Oh, and then there's the issue of whether to play for money, which I wanted to do, but given the people that are coming, we're not going to play for cash. Poop. Ocean's Twelve was good but I don't get why they had to stage the whole Julia Roberts business after they had already landed themselves in jail. I mean, why did they have to even land themselves in jail if they had already gotten the job done? I don't quite understand why they did some o' the things they did, but the movie was fun to watch. I loved the part where the Night Fox dodged the lasers. That shit was just cool. Hmm. I'm not sure whether it's better to limit the number of invites myself or invite them and let them make the decision. It's hard to word something saying "I like your personality and don't have a problem with you coming, but you might not fit in with the other people I invited." I suppose what most people would tell me is that I should invite friends and let them decide for themselves. Anyway, friend clashes suck because they put me in the spot of who to invite, and if they find out later I was talking to them and hadn't invited them to something I was planning, they'll feel hurt and keep it to themselves. Lately I'm having the problem that I think of cool things to write in the form of poetry or great lines that should be captured, but I never write them down, and when I sit down to write I never remember what I had, and never think of those types of things. I think the situation I have when I'm writing is different enough from regular thinking that it keeps me from thinking in the poetical way I sometimes morph into. I gotta get me some paper and pencils. On that list of things to get goes Fruity Loops, an alarm clock, school supplies, a calendar, posters, and an agenda for organization. Typical american guy asks for unnecessary items, whereas kids in a hundred other countries ask for nothing. Dammit. I'm in the perfect mood for writing music. And once I write it, I assume I can post it online. Gagne has gotten really good, Brian tells me, and he already was really good from what he had written. You know what, I think I can't think of poetry now because I'm subconsciously afraid I'm not good at it, and things I think are good really aren't. If I write it and you read it and it isn't any good then I'll have someone out there thinking I suck at writing. I'm afraid of failure. I need to learn to take more chances knowing that failure is an option. Whenever I do something, I've always been a person that excels at it. I'll either do it until I get good, or I won't do it at all. So how did I manage to get good at so many things? Or maybe I just stop when it starts getting hard? When I run out of nearby competition to challenge me, I move on. That's how it has been for almost everything. I'll get good enough to be considered good by anyone who might be around to play against, because I would hate for them to think that I suck at something I thought I was good at. I don't mind sucking at things I've never tried before, but I hate to be the one who says I practiced it for months and still suck. Let's see: magic, ping pong, raquetball, wrestling, skiing, poker, Halo, chess, euchre, risk, cooking...to name a few things I've tried to be great at, yet try to stay humble at all the same. I should really learn to step away from trivial things like board and card games and excel at real things in life like learning people skills. This next semester I've got to step away from time wasters like television and Halo, AIM convos and useless chatter, and meander my way into reading books by famous writers and getting homework and studying done without the procrastination that has always been a part of my recent academic stay. I remember I used to get hw done and then ask myself if I had anything I could get ahead on, then do that. The next day I could enter class and brag about how I had it all done while others complained how they had tons of such work yet to do. I used to be better than procrastination, but now it has turned into something I'll think of and say, "eh, I'll deal with it sooner or later." As far as someone's site to visit that's both a mix of wit and humor, but mostly humor, visit sexual positions free dot com. That's right, I'm splitting it into words so people who scan this crap without reading it and just looking for something that sticks out won't think I'm a sicko chasing pornographic sites. I'm here to reward those who read every word I laboriously connected finger movements together to form. The site is entirely unporno related, except for the part where it talks about sexual positions in a humorous manner using wooden dolls. I especially love how he burns people with his sarcasm and humor in the section called "stupid ass emails." They're well worth reading. Once again, my room has become bone-chillingly devoid of heat as proved by my freezing feet and ice cold nose. Yet here I have remained, stubbornly resisting the temperature with a will to let the thought train pass. I'm not ready to try to duck my car in between train cars, nor am I willing to ignore it. Plus, with my music here, and my spankin' headphones adorned to tickle my musical brain tissue, I can tune out the temperature for minutes at a time. Sometime tomorrow my sister is arriving, but at the same time I've got to pick up the house. I've got a bit of a disconsonant personality in that I try to pick up after myself and get annoyed at messes my parents leave because it reflects on me, but on the other hand, my room is a mess. I try to keep my car clean of crap, which my dad interminably keeps full of tools and crap he needs for work. My mom's car is so full of junk it takes several minutes just to clear off a seat and her old room upstairs is cluttered to the point where walking is treacherous. Papers are pointlessly saved in this household: she has a newspaper from 2001 upstairs and she cuts out articles and fails to throw them out when the month ends. She is a pack rat and though I hate saving stuff like she does, I usually lack the ambition to empty my room of the clutter that has accumulated over time. Instead, I let it bother me on a daily basis. Perhaps I just need someone to make that little step and say, "come on, let's clean this room up" on a day when I'm feeling ambitious. At least I've kept it from getting worse by cleaning up each day what I left behind. Blaaa crap. I resolve to clean up my room before this break ends! That's too unspecific: I'll clean it up the next day I'm left with several hours of freedom. That's good. Good job, Casey. You figured out what you wanted, and rather than continue to gripe over it, you stepped it up and decided to take action. I'm so proud of your development. Thanks. The song called "Rain" by Brainbug helped inspire me. I think this blogging marks my 50th blog on this blog! Yay, from now on when I look at "show 50" previous blogs, it won't show everything! Excellent. I suppose it's time I tucked myself in and began the process of my warming up. Damnit I'm cold. Once again, it's one of those things I gotta take action about and quit whining. Peace out, doggies!