Another Nightless Day

Few can understand the plight of the blogger and what it feels like to have the desire and pressure to blog on a regular basis. I don't know where it comes from, but there it is: this need to return to the keyboard and express thoughts. Oh yeah, I just remembered, I'm fucked. Fuckity fucked. That's a bad thing. I'm supposed to wake up at 10am tomorrow? Wait, that's in under four hours! Tomorrow starts in 3.67 hours! This is unacceptable. Where did that frickin' time machine go? That would solve my problems. I just get so distracted with music playing (badass techno and crazy hardcore trance on occasion) that I start reading and I don't stop. I read about people's lives and I come away knowing a lot about them. I was reading this one blog that I got started on because i was looking for a jack skellington hat and she had a picture of herself wearing it, and then i read a bunch. She was under lots of pressure day after day with classes and work and then she'd go home and scream at her blog. The worst part was that she didn't even have a sense of humour about it, and I kept reading regardless. Somehow, even without the entertainment value of humor, I was enthralled with this person ready to explode day after day. So I curse at myself for being amused at somebody's stressed lifestyle. One thing that would be grand is if I learned how to type. That would be awesome. I can't type a sentence without making a typo. In that last sentence alone I made four errors. Crap! My fingers are not working at all. This is not good. It is bad. It is a bad, bad thing, that will hurt...many people...that are good! This state I'm in, where I know I'm screwed from lack of sleep yet I continue to do nothing about, is annoying! I don't even recognize that I'm tired. I wish I got tired because then I could go to sleep like normal people, who I assume sleep each and every day like it's part of their schedule. The worst part is that the last time I was up all night like this I thought I would be up all day fine, but then at about 11am I would just pass out from lack of sleep and there is nothing within me to resist the comforting relief sleep provides. Sleep is the best! And whatever happened to my dreams? I used to dream every night and they just decided to leave. This sucks. I want my dreams back. My dreams are filled with things that both amuse and excite me. If there was a contest to see who had the best dreams, I would win and you would cream yourself at how amazing they are. So...yeah, I need to do stuff. It's sad, but my feeling for next week is more based along the lines of hope: I hope that I go to sleep on time and feel ambitious and all the things that I'm not as of this week. It doesn't just come along. It's like that miracle pill that helps you lose weight that Americans are waiting for that will never come. Or maybe it's not like that at all. Regardless, I have to make it happen, and not just pray that it will work out the way I want it to. I wonder if there is a job out there for people who make up words? I can come up with some good ones sometimes, but I'm not going to share them with you. You might patent them and be rich when everybody starts using my words that I didn't patent, and I don't wish success upon anybody but myself. The riches and future involved in the word-creating field are mine! Oh, and what's the deal with women and their obsession with weirdy wacky diets? I'm talking vegans here and vegetarians and tofu, which is just gross and the calorie cutting and all that. Alex's girl is vegan and he was complaining/ talking about this weird-serving food restaurant they would visit and how it delivered to vegetarians. I don't know what these people's deals are. What's wrong with meat? Somebody needs to teach them a lesson about the circle of death/life via The Lion King and that it's healthy and things of that nature. Best of all, meat is delish! There are those who have told me that based on how many carbohydrates and meats I consume in any given day, I will evolve into a portly or obese man, but that's when I sucker punch those bitches and say no way. It's not in my genes, plus there's the fact that if I started to gain weight I would make changes. But in the mean time, what I'm talking about is that exercise has been neglected far more than it should. Sure, it might keep you thin, but it's not keeping you healthy like me! Who do I have to do around here to get the message across? I'm thinking of a few people in particular who this pertains to, and if you're reading this, yes, I'm stickin' it to you based on your lifestyle. Perhaps I should go live in Nigeria. I don't believe they have quite the obesity problem we face in the us. I'm not having a tantrum. I apologize. That comes next week. Oh shucks this just got even gayer because now 10am is in even less time! I suppose on the plus side I won't have to set my alarm clock. Crap, I already set it. Nooooo! There are so many people out there it's insane. For me, it's impossible to grasp the full dimension of it: that there are billions of people, each with their own brains and thoughts and lives and webs of friends and relatives. It blows my mind. Almost everyone just accepts that there is themself and then the rest of the world, with their friends and such just a step closer to them than the rest of the world. The brain only sees what it can potentially understand. It's far too easy to just say, "yep, there are billions," but it's something else to start to comprehend it. It's hard enough to think of the lives of all the people just within your neighborhood, city, state, or country. Are we not ourselves machines? That's something else altogether that has no simple answer. But suddenly I lack the desire to do anything because I just noticed my neck is hot from strain and my back hurts from slouching. This appears to be one of those situations where not accepting that it is the truth won't work. It is now 7am. All this time I've been planning on getting some sleep before I woke up, but it's getting harder and harder to fathom myself getting sleep at this point. Anyways, I haven't left my cubicle of a room in about seven hours and it might be getting to my head. Did you notice the carrot award? I like it. I think the carrot would say something practical like "I'm bored," but carrots don't think too much. They're not very intelligent, but they would have great vision if they teamed up with a potato. Ow, my back. I need to go lay down. Keep jammin.